American author April Henry, Tweeted this the other day: “Starting something like my 30th book and I still feel like I don't know what I'm doing.”
Such an unsettling feeling that is.
My Tweet response (which she “Liked”) was: “Ah, the creative mind at work. I have nightmares of being lost right before I start a new composition.”
The agony of the creative mind! The classic tortured artist soul does, I believe, persist well into the 21st century.
I met April Henry years ago when I was considering going into doing children’s books. We were among dozens at a conference at Lewis & Clark College directed by Linda Zuckerman. Obviously, Henry continued with the books and I moved into concentrating on visual art.
______________________________
Re: nightmares. According to a report from the National Institute of Health 5.1% percentage of adults still experiences frequent (at least once a week) nightmares. But this study was done on middle-aged Hong Kong Chinese. For those living in the USA WebMD reports:
While it's true nightmares are more common among children, one out of every two adults has nightmares on occasion. And between 2% and 8% of the adult population is plagued by nightmares.May 12, 2021 WebMD
However, the caveat here is that WebMD is not a peer reviewed/scholarly source.
_______________________________
But back to agony, anxiety and nightmares preceding creative work:
Once I have an idea for a composition, that idea develops 24/7 at the back of my mind. Any empty moment circles back—how to best express this artistic statement?
One anxiety/nightmare theme, as mentioned to April, is being lost. For example:
The lost theme generally starts out okay. I’m usually at a party or some kind of social gathering with friends and strangers. It’s a fun time. Time passes. It’s getting dark. I suddenly notice that people are clearing out and my partner has left. This means I don’t know how I’ll get back home. It’s too far to walk. The few people present do not include anybody I know. Sure enough, I’ve forgotten my phone and don’t know any of my friends’ phone numbers since I’m in the habit of using the Contact list. Meanwhile, everyone but the two hosts have left. They’re changing bedding and cleaning up dishes, glasses, vacuuming, etc. I ask the host if they have a computer so I can check public transit alternatives. The host says they don’t have a computer. Then I realize I don’t even know the address here or there and just know I’m a long way from home.
The impossible task nightmare theme can be domestic- or production-related:
My instructions are usually to get a certain number of things classified and organized by a specific time. It is typically a repetitive and tedious task. Initially I’m all for it, thinking can do and it’s important I do well. Working relentlessly for hours, I see the project is impossible to complete in the time allowed. I try working harder, faster, but other things interfere and interrupt. Finally I admit to the boss I cannot complete the assignment. This is considered a fail.
I wake up tired since I was so busy all night. And now, in non-dreaming time, to work out the next visual statement.
As quoted in a BBC Culture article by Beverley D'Silva (12th July 2021 “Paula Rego: The artist who helped change the world”), British/Portuguese figurative artist Paula Rego said, “Every picture takes courage. All artists are brave.”
And somehow it all works out.
Comments welcome.
Such an unsettling feeling that is.
My Tweet response (which she “Liked”) was: “Ah, the creative mind at work. I have nightmares of being lost right before I start a new composition.”
The agony of the creative mind! The classic tortured artist soul does, I believe, persist well into the 21st century.
I met April Henry years ago when I was considering going into doing children’s books. We were among dozens at a conference at Lewis & Clark College directed by Linda Zuckerman. Obviously, Henry continued with the books and I moved into concentrating on visual art.
______________________________
Re: nightmares. According to a report from the National Institute of Health 5.1% percentage of adults still experiences frequent (at least once a week) nightmares. But this study was done on middle-aged Hong Kong Chinese. For those living in the USA WebMD reports:
While it's true nightmares are more common among children, one out of every two adults has nightmares on occasion. And between 2% and 8% of the adult population is plagued by nightmares.May 12, 2021 WebMD
However, the caveat here is that WebMD is not a peer reviewed/scholarly source.
_______________________________
But back to agony, anxiety and nightmares preceding creative work:
Once I have an idea for a composition, that idea develops 24/7 at the back of my mind. Any empty moment circles back—how to best express this artistic statement?
One anxiety/nightmare theme, as mentioned to April, is being lost. For example:
The lost theme generally starts out okay. I’m usually at a party or some kind of social gathering with friends and strangers. It’s a fun time. Time passes. It’s getting dark. I suddenly notice that people are clearing out and my partner has left. This means I don’t know how I’ll get back home. It’s too far to walk. The few people present do not include anybody I know. Sure enough, I’ve forgotten my phone and don’t know any of my friends’ phone numbers since I’m in the habit of using the Contact list. Meanwhile, everyone but the two hosts have left. They’re changing bedding and cleaning up dishes, glasses, vacuuming, etc. I ask the host if they have a computer so I can check public transit alternatives. The host says they don’t have a computer. Then I realize I don’t even know the address here or there and just know I’m a long way from home.
The impossible task nightmare theme can be domestic- or production-related:
My instructions are usually to get a certain number of things classified and organized by a specific time. It is typically a repetitive and tedious task. Initially I’m all for it, thinking can do and it’s important I do well. Working relentlessly for hours, I see the project is impossible to complete in the time allowed. I try working harder, faster, but other things interfere and interrupt. Finally I admit to the boss I cannot complete the assignment. This is considered a fail.
I wake up tired since I was so busy all night. And now, in non-dreaming time, to work out the next visual statement.
As quoted in a BBC Culture article by Beverley D'Silva (12th July 2021 “Paula Rego: The artist who helped change the world”), British/Portuguese figurative artist Paula Rego said, “Every picture takes courage. All artists are brave.”
And somehow it all works out.
Comments welcome.